Gallery

Oh, Charlie…

Dude.

What the hell is going through that brain of yours? Man, live your life as you see fit, but… if you want to have a career, if you want to maintain custody of your children, if you want sponsors to continue to pump their revenue into broadcasting their commercials while your show is on, then maybe, just maybe – here’s a radical idea – don’t show the inside of your threesome swinger coked-fueled marriage to ABC News … and the WORLD!

More importantly, though: we are gods to our children. They will emulate us. We cannot afford to dance the way you are currently dancing, not in front of our little ones. Your girls are watching, too. The twins may be too young to process what they’re seeing, but your girls are watching, and that just ain’t good.

Their friends are going to make fun of them, their mother is going to use this to keep you from them, they are going to be embarrassed and scared for you, and, maybe one day, they are going to follow in your crazed footsteps. And, you will be the one to blame. Full stop.

Do the right thing by them right now, and just stop. Back it up. Get some help. Stay clean for a year. Retreat. Find your centre, your spirit, your whatever-it-is-that-completes-you-when-you’re-not-high-or-screwing and stay there for a good, long while. You’re a very bright man, and you haven’t killed all of your grey matter. Yet. But, right now, you’re coming off as bug nuts. I would not want to sit in the same room as you unless it was to film you. Normally, I would say quite the opposite. Your politics and mine are very similar, but today… well, let’s just say, everything ain’t quite firing in the right sequence.

Know what I’m sayin’, Charlie?

Advertisements

2 responses to “Oh, Charlie…

  1. Aaaaannnd… they came and took the twins.
    Nothing changes, Charlie. Time to heal.

    • I am SO happy to hear they’ve taken the twins – that had me really upset last night. Charlie might believe he’s a rockstar from Mars and think porn star substitute mommies are an awesome idea, but wow. So not.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s