To: All Pieces of Deliberately Faulty Technology
From: A Fed-Up User of Said Technology
CC’d: All Those Suffering From Tech-Strike
Subject: Your Time is Limited… literally
Dear Pieces of Shit.
We are aware that your manufacturers have pre-programmed your obsolescence and deliberate break-down within several days or weeks of your warrantees’ expiry date. We’ve known about this for a while. We also know that it takes more to try and fix you than it does to replace you. So, it’s fairly clearly, syllogistically-speaking, that you should die if you refuse to function beyond your past-due date, don’t you think?
I just destroyed one of your brethren. A Kodak printer whose warrantee expired very soon after the company itself went into receivership. I had taken very good care of that machine, despite the constant refusal to function as advertised when one or the other of the printer cartridges had run out – remind me again why it is that I need colour ink while printing plain old black-and-white?
For no good reason, today it decided to just stop functioning at all. No warning messages. No nothing. At first my mac couldn’t find it. So, I went through the protocols of reconnection, but to no avail. After half an hour of patient trouble-shooting, it just decided to turn itself off and not come back on at all. Well, you can probably guess what happened next, as much as you probably don’t want to have it laid out for you, lest it happen to you, too, you dysfunctional pieces of deliberately faulty garbage.
I took that little fucker apart with my bare hands. And, it gave me great satisfaction.
Glass fragments from its screen littered my floor. Plastic shards were scattered across the room. It cried out in agony again and again as both of my flattened palms came down mercilessly upon its still relatively shiny black surfaces (as previously stated, I had taken very good care of it), but to no avail. Its time was done, and I was not about to play the old game of taking it to a tech-geek for costly diagnosis and repairs, only to be told, “It’d be cheaper if you just bought a new one. They’ve got great deals at FutureShop.”
So, yeah. Fuck you. Piss me off again, you shall die. That is all.
You have been warned. 
Skynet, my ass.
The Guy Who Just Took Great Satisfaction in Dumping Your Dead Brother in the Recycling Bin


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